Rodriguez Thanks Team, Lies Profusely
Yesterday Alex Rodriguez did his best impression of someone who feels sorry for doing something wrong. Manager Joe Girardi is apparently standing strong with him, although it is still unclear whether the rest of the team feels they have been given a giant enough sackful of money to maintain solidarity; the press conference was as scripted and non-confrontational as a Sesame Street episode.
Trying his best to seem truly remorseful, A-is-for-anabolic-Rod only came off as being sorry for getting caught. The press was allowed to ask questions, but not follow up questions (to avoid navigating that tricky web of lies). Rodriguez constantly bemoaned his youth and naïvete, and claimed some sort of ambiguous knowledge of what he was doing: “I knew we weren’t taking Tic Tacs”. Yet, he went further to insult those present by claiming:
I’m not sure what the benifit was…if you take this glass of water and say you’re going to be a better baseball player, if you believe it, you probably will be. I certainly felt more energy, but it’s hard to say.
Apparently, Rodriguez didn’t know what he was doing, but he did know it was wrong, but doesn’t think it did anything. I can only assume he is attempting to frame his actions under the time-tested legal precedent of “no harm no foul”. Here’s a tip man: you don’t take mild, over-the-counter medicine via intravenous injection. If someone, even your “cousin”, offers you a needle, the contents of which are a total mystery to you beyond “not being Tic Tacs”, and you take it, you are either a complete moron and deserve the public uproar and media circus you must endure, or you knowingly cheated while already making hundreds of millions of dollars to play a game and thus lie somewhere on the spectrum between “criminal thug” and “complete douche”.
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