I was watching Family Guy tonight, and there was a pretty hilarious reference to Tom Green in it. That got me thinking: where the hell did that guy go? For all the hoopla his show and ridiculous movie made upon launch he sure faded back into the woodwork awful fast.

Also tonight I saw Jeff Suppan and Derrick Turnbow get absolutely hammered by the Cubs. How fast the hurler can fall from grace in this game. Turnbow is currently occupying the inner circle of baseball Hell, coincidentally one circle “better” than teamate Eric Gagne.

Turnbow. This is a guy who was an incredible closer in the 2005 season, essentially his rookie campaign, with 1.74 ERA, 39 saves, and (more importantly) 2.66 K/BB and a nasty .199 BAA. Chucking a fastball at 98, I saw him a number of times looking absolutely unhittable. Mariano Rivera type shit; throw in a couple extra walks.

Then, somewhere around the time he pitched in the ’06 All-Star game, he forgot how to pitch. Hell, he forgot how to throw even. In July, he pitched in 11 games and only amassed 6.1 innings, yet managed to walk 11 batters and give up a .379 BAA, with four losses and four blown saves in five save opportunities. From July ’06 until now he’s logged a 6.68 ERA with 76 walks in 94.1 innings. Horrid.

Does the radar gun tell the tale? From what I’ve looked at, he’s been throwing around 94 on average this season, topping out at 96 on occasion. But does a few miles per hour take you from top of the pitching food chain to pathetic bottom-feeder of the baseball world? Or was he simply unable to parry the adjustments of big-league batters and thus has become a curious record of Darwinian failure in MLB’s Burgess Shale? Perhaps Tom Green could take a lesson from this baseball Neanderthal.